“Astrology and other methods of divination may certainly be called the science of antiquity.” - Carl Gustav Jung, 1931
(Carl Jung, one of the only european, middle-class, cis white males who has anything interesting to say, lol.)
What do the zodiac and veganism have in common? Well, they're both things that the majority of people still think are made up and/or exclusively for snowflakes... They're also both things that, in my opinion, people judge without knowing much about, (and then when they open their minds a bit to find out more, they get super into it and convert)... before we start, plz don't lose what little respect you had left for me by finding out that I'm into the zodiac. I originally got interested in the zodiac as a way to annoy people / as a social experiment, but after a while my brain started questioning - maybe the zodiac isn't all just bull, maybe there is something to it. After all, we've all felt the collective thrill of it being a Friday afternoon, we've all felt the collective chaos/excitement that is also known as December, we all know that the first few months of our life are very formative.. maybe it's not that the planets have an affect on us (although I do personally believe it is), maybe we're simply reacting to everyone else.
(Carl Jung, one of the only european, middle-class, cis white males who has anything interesting to say, lol.)
What do the zodiac and veganism have in common? Well, they're both things that the majority of people still think are made up and/or exclusively for snowflakes... They're also both things that, in my opinion, people judge without knowing much about, (and then when they open their minds a bit to find out more, they get super into it and convert)... before we start, plz don't lose what little respect you had left for me by finding out that I'm into the zodiac. I originally got interested in the zodiac as a way to annoy people / as a social experiment, but after a while my brain started questioning - maybe the zodiac isn't all just bull, maybe there is something to it. After all, we've all felt the collective thrill of it being a Friday afternoon, we've all felt the collective chaos/excitement that is also known as December, we all know that the first few months of our life are very formative.. maybe it's not that the planets have an affect on us (although I do personally believe it is), maybe we're simply reacting to everyone else.
And now that I've wasted words trying to convince you that being into the zodiac is okay, I realise that if you weren't into it you probably wouldn't have clicked here... So without further ado, please enjoy my list of zodiac signs as vegans (and yes most of these are based on vegans I know irl lol sorrynotsorry).
The Zodiac Signs As Vegans
#1. Vegan Aries
- "Veganism is not even hard though";
- Secretly researched it to perfection for weeks before taking the plunge;
- Reports ads about McDonalds (or really anything that has meat, eggs or dairy in it) to Facebook for violence;
- Angry vegan.
#2. Vegan Taurus
- Let's be honest, they went vegan at first so they could f*ck better;
- BuDdaH BoWls;
- Loves their body;
- Knows where to find the best kale;
- LiZzO!!
#3. Vegan Gemini
- Most likely to be vegan (at least in the beginning) for their own benefits and health. To quote Serena "Not only does it help me on the court, but I feel like I'm doing the right thing for me";
- Most likely to have contrasting views / be a hypocrite / use their veganism to excuse their shitty behaviours "it's okay that I fly, I'm vegan";
- But ALSO, most likely to know all sides of the argument and thus beat you each time;
- FeEdEr.
#4. Vegan Cancer
- One slaughter house video was enough --> instant vegan;
- Makes the best cakes;
- To quote Ariana Grande "I love animals more than I love most people, not kidding".
#5. Vegan Leo
- Front of the activism queue;
- LEADING;
- Will shout louder than you;
- Just wants everybody to have fun nicely together.
#6. Vegan Virgo
- Ill? They've got a cure for that, made of plants;
- Pure, perfection;
- don't waste her time, she's smarter than you;
- LeAn aNd ClEaN;
- Most likely to be a raw vegan.
#7. Vegan Libra
- iNdEcIsiVe;
- First in the friendship group consider being vegan, last to actually do it;
- "It does make me prettier though";
- Politest arguer.
#8. Vegan Scorpio
- Manages to make not slaughtering animals creepy;
- "Consent is sexy";
- "Technically, a vegan can drink human blood if you get their 'permission' first";
- Most likely to have vegan tats - and they're cool af;
- You want them on your side - they're silent but deadly.
#9. Vegan Sagittarius
- Will f*ck with non-vegans for fun;
- Most likely to lecture a waitress because there's no vegan options, and then order the dairy cake...
- pOtAtOes;
- Knows the best fake cheeses;
- "Booze is vegan tho."
#10. Vegan Capricorn
- Most likely to care about animals but not human animals;
- LoGiCaL;
- Activism is sexy;
- You cannot phase them, they know they're right and they don't give af.
#11. Vegan Aquarius
- Drawn to the out-of-the-box thinking of veganism;
- But has to prove it to themselves with sCiEnCe first though;
- "We gotta change the world";
- Right at the front next to the Leo at the protest;
- Most likely to do it overnight;
- GENIUS ideas.
#12. Vegan Pisces
- Most likely to be consistency ethical (aka opposite of gemini);
- F*cked up on your vegan journey? Tell the Pisces, they're secret keepers;
- Soul foods;
- Hippy;
- Crying about that cute video they saw once.
Present for your Pisces vegan: zero waste Pisces vegan lip balm - they are the sign of the fish, they are also a water sign :)
THANK YOU FOR READING!!!
